Small Accident?
by XxMisaki EndouxX
Summary: Rushed fic. The cast learns that teaching Saber about roaches so early in the morning with so many people at the table is a bad idea. Maybe if she had some breakfast beforehand, things would've been different?


**Ah, well, I'm having writer's block on my other fanfics, so I thought I'd do some exercises.**

**VWVWVWVWVWVWV**

A beautiful morning begins with a healthy breakfast, as they say. I can't agree more, although I know someone who'll agree with it more than me.

Anyway, it's morning and getting out of bed is already hard work.

At least I can do that much.

So, what will we have for breakfast today…?

I repeat the question endlessly in my brain while I brush my teeth. It's really hard to decide when you don't know who's going to pop-up for a free breakfast in the morning.

Besides that, making breakfast itself is hard work. It's a good thing I like work.

It's worth working hard for a delicious breakfast if the people who eat it would commend you, so it's not a big deal, and it's pretty rewarding.

The sun is pretty bright today. That figures – there're no clouds on sight. It's a good day to do the laundry, too.

Entering the kitchen, I take note of the several figures already having a nice conversation at the table.

"Good morning, Shirou. Did you sleep well?"

Saber courteously greets me like always. I smile and greet her back.

"Good morning, Emiya-kun. Just to remind you, Sakura said she'll be leaving early since she has cleaning duty."

Straight to the point, as always, Rin.

I take a seat beside Saber and think about breakfast again. I should make something easy today since I'm pretty late in waking up.

"That's not like you to sleep in, Shirou-kun."

And it's not like you to just drop by for a free breakfast, Bazette-san.

"Maybe he was dreaming… about something inappropriate."

…

Does nobody have any comments as to what Caren just said…?

It's been awhile after Caren's remark… so I guess I'll just start making breakfast, eh?

"Onii-chan! I'm here!"

"Excuse us for the intrusion…"

Illya? Lysritt-san and Sella-san, too…

"Eh? You girls came here, too?"

Illya give shows ma a smile so cheerful. Really, to think someone like her is Berserker's master.

"I want to have Onii-chan's cooking today!" was Illya's exaggeratedly joyful response.

"Shirou's food is delicious."

Is that all, Lysritt-san!?

"Ah, well. I can't help it, then. Can you give me a hand with the cooking, Rin?"

"Ah, yeah, all right."

It's nice to have a lot of people at the table, right?

But I think Sella was glaring at me just now.

Let's see… miso soup is a must. Saber really likes it, and then there's…

"Shirou? Do we have any more bug sprays?"

Bud sprays, eh? Ah, right. A roach problem just recently arose and Rin and Sakura are getting freaked-out by it.

It's good that Rider volunteered to exterminate them, but she could at least buy the sprays with her own money.

Oh, well. It's my house anyway, so I should be spending mine for its maintenance, right?

"Ah, I don't think so. The one last night was the last one, I think."

"I'll just go buy some more after lunch. Don't trouble yourself with it."

After saying so, Rider takes her place right beside where Sakura always sits; although now it's currently occupied by Illya.

I wish everyday was this lively.

"Hmm…? Hey, Rider. Why go through the trouble of buying sprays and traps when we could just squish them like the bugs they are?"

Hmm…? I'm surprised Saber knows so little about it?

After turning around, I realize that everybody except Caren was surprised as well.

"Well, Saber. It's because roaches are fast to multiply that just smashing those we happen by isn't enough to get rid of them."

Rin's explanation was, again, direct to the point.

After that, everybody started talking about roaches. Well, pretty much everybody except me, who's cooking, Rin, who was helping me, and Illya, who seems to be disgusted about the topic at hand.

Lively, isn't it?

At least Caren's not making any of her startling remarks.

"Gilgamesh couldn't even kill one even after using his Gate of Babylon… That good-for-nothing dog that's lower than a pig can't even aim right."

I spoke to soon, eh? Pretty soon, everybody went dead silent again.

Oh, I remember something about roaches. It's from that documentary I watched when I was a little kid.

"Apparently, roaches are so resistant to force that they can withstand twenty times the amount of radiation that would normally kill a human."

Saber seems awed by that fact. Everybody agrees with me at least. I thought I was remembering it wrong.

"So…"

Saber pauses for effect.

I have a bad feeling about this.

"… if a roach has that much of a physical resistance, it should be able to withstand a small portion of my Excalibur, right?"

I think you're mistaken somewhere.

This bad feeling just grew worse. I better correct her before something bad actually does happen.

"Ah, Saber… There's something wrong with your logi—"

"Senpai! I forgot something so I… Kyaaaa!!!"

Sakura!?

"Shirou! Sakura is in trouble!"

Saber! Don't go!

Bazette, in an effort to stop Saber, dives to at least grab her foot, but fails.

"Shirou! It's a roach!"

"Saber! Don't! Not in the house!"

"EX…!!!"

On that short moment, the troublesome cockroach enters the kitchen and makes a sprint to the table.

"Shirou!!! Down!!! Saber is aiming DOWN!!!!!"

"To the ground!!! Come on!!!!!"

Hell is going to break loose.

I try to shout, but there's just so much commotion. I don't think I can get through.

Is this the end…?

"Saber, stop it!!!!! You're aiming ON THE GROUND!!!!!"

She didn't hear me…!?

Stop screaming, Rin!!!!!!

…

… We were outdone by a roach…?

"… CALIBUR!!!!"

...................................................................................................................................

"Oh, my…"

"You're kidding. You're telling me that the overseer of this land takes residence here, Akiha?"

"I'm not ignorant, Nii-san. This should be the place."

"You're not good with directions, are you, little sister?"

"I don't need to hear that from someone who got lost on the lobby. And didn't I tell you not to call me "little sister", Arcueid-san?"

"Senpai… you're not saying this is a home… is it?"

"No… No way. It's just a crater, nothing more… At least I think it wasn't before…"

**VWVWVWVWVWVWV**

**That's it! It's rushed, wasn't proof-read, and wasn't planned, so sorry if it felt rushed, like it was missing something, and/or if it just plain sucks.**

**I'll be editing this if I have the chance, but not now. Ciao!**


End file.
